Resources

Curated materials to support your learning and growth in submission

Recommended Reading

Essential books for submissives and those exploring power exchange

Foundational Books

  • The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy - Essential guide for submissives and bottoms
  • The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy - Understanding the dominant perspective
  • SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman - Comprehensive introduction to BDSM practices
  • Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon - Practical guide to BDSM relationships
  • The Loving Dominant by John Warren - Understanding healthy D/s dynamics

Polyamory & Relationships

  • The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy - Guide to ethical non-monogamy
  • More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert - Polyamory and consent practices
  • The POLY BIBLE by serella and STōN - Comprehensive guide to polyamorous relationships
  • PolyKink by serella and STōN - Navigating polyamory within kink dynamics

Consent & Communication

  • The Ultimate Guide to Kink edited by Tristan Taormino - Comprehensive anthology on various kink practices
  • Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams - Community dynamics and etiquette
  • When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt - For partners and family

Specialized Topics

  • The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori - Rope bondage techniques
  • Enough to Make You Blush by Princess Kali - Erotic humiliation and psychological play
  • The Mistress Manual by Mistress Lorelei - Female dominance perspectives
  • Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham - Submission from a female perspective

Online Resources

FetLife

Social network for the kink, BDSM, and fetish community. Connect with local groups and find events.

Visit FetLife →

BDSM Test

Discover your kink orientation and compatibility through this comprehensive assessment tool.

Take the Test →

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Advocacy organization providing legal resources, education, and support for the kink community.

Visit NCSF →

The Eulenspiegel Society (TES)

Oldest BDSM education organization in the USA, offering extensive resources and community support.

Visit TES →

Glossary of Terms

Common terminology in BDSM and power exchange

A-D

24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange)
A relationship structure where power exchange is continuous, not limited to scenes.
Aftercare
Physical and emotional care provided after a scene to support recovery and connection.
BDSM
Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism - umbrella term for consensual power exchange practices.
Bottom
The person receiving sensation or action in a scene (not necessarily submissive).
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)
A pre-negotiated dynamic where one partner consensually gives up the ability to withdraw consent within agreed boundaries.
Collaring
A symbolic commitment ceremony in D/s relationships, similar to engagement or marriage.
Dom/Dominant
The partner who takes the leading or controlling role in a power exchange.
D/s (Dominance/submission)
Power exchange dynamic focused on psychological control and surrender.

E-M

Edge Play
Activities considered higher risk or more intense, varying by individual comfort levels.
Hard Limit
An absolute boundary that must never be crossed under any circumstances.
High Protocol
Formal, structured rules and rituals in a D/s dynamic.
Impact Play
Activities involving striking the body (spanking, flogging, etc.).
Kink
Non-conventional sexual practices or interests.
Low Protocol
Casual, flexible approach to D/s dynamics with fewer formal rules.
Munch
A casual social gathering for people in the kink community, typically held in a public, vanilla setting.

N-S

Negotiation
Discussion of boundaries, desires, limits, and expectations before engaging in play.
PRICK
Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink - framework emphasizing individual accountability.
Protocol
Agreed-upon rules and behaviors in a D/s relationship.
RACK
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink - framework acknowledging that all activities carry some risk.
Safeword
A pre-agreed word or signal used to pause or stop a scene immediately.
Scene
A negotiated period of BDSM activity with defined beginning and end.
Service Submission
Submission expressed through acts of service rather than pain or sensation.
Soft Limit
A boundary that might be negotiable under specific circumstances with clear communication.
SSC
Safe, Sane, and Consensual - traditional framework for ethical BDSM practice.
sub/submissive
The partner who consensually surrenders control in a power exchange (lowercase 's' when referring to role).
Subspace
Altered state of consciousness that submissives may experience during intense scenes.

T-Z

Top
The person giving sensation or action in a scene (not necessarily dominant).
TPE (Total Power Exchange)
See 24/7 TPE above.
Vanilla
Non-kinky; conventional sexual practices or relationships.
Vetting
The process of getting to know and assess the trustworthiness and compatibility of a potential partner or community member.
YKINMK
"Your Kink Is Not My Kink" - principle of respecting diverse preferences without judgment.

Safety Guidelines

Red Flags & Warning Signs

Be cautious of potential partners or community members who:

  • Pressure you to move faster than you're comfortable with
  • Dismiss or minimize your boundaries and limits
  • Refuse to negotiate or discuss safewords
  • Isolate you from friends, family, or community
  • Use "true submissive" or "real dominant" language to manipulate
  • Claim that safewords aren't necessary in "real" D/s
  • Have a pattern of broken relationships with no accountability
  • Refuse to provide references or become defensive when asked
  • Push for financial control or dependence early in the relationship
  • Violate your consent and then blame you for it

Vetting Checklist

Before engaging in play or entering a dynamic, consider:

  • Have multiple conversations before meeting in person
  • Meet in public places first (munches, coffee shops)
  • Ask for references from other community members
  • Check FetLife for community feedback and connections
  • Trust your instincts - if something feels off, it probably is
  • Take your time - there's no rush to enter a dynamic
  • Discuss expectations, limits, and boundaries clearly
  • Ensure they respect your need for safety and consent
  • Verify they have knowledge of safe practices
  • Observe how they treat others in the community

Physical Safety Tips

  • Learn basic anatomy and safe zones for impact play
  • Never engage in breath play without extensive education
  • Keep safety scissors nearby for rope bondage
  • Establish clear safewords and check-in signals
  • Stay hydrated and monitor for signs of distress
  • Have a first aid kit accessible
  • Know the signs of nerve damage, circulation issues, and drop
  • Never leave someone bound and alone
  • Avoid alcohol or drugs before/during scenes
  • Plan for aftercare needs in advance

Crisis Resources

Immediate help and support services

Emergency: If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Phone: 988
Available: 24/7
Free and confidential support for people in distress.

Crisis Text Line

Text: HOME to 741741
Available: 24/7
Free crisis support via text message.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Phone: 1-800-799-7233
Available: 24/7
Support for victims of domestic violence and abuse.

RAINN (Sexual Assault Hotline)

Phone: 1-800-656-4673
Available: 24/7
Support for survivors of sexual assault.

The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth)

Phone: 1-866-488-7386
Text: START to 678678
Crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ young people.

Trans Lifeline

Phone: 1-877-565-8860
Available: Hours vary
Peer support for transgender people in crisis.

Local Brevard County Resources

  • Brevard County Crisis Line: 211 or 1-800-273-8255
  • Serene Harbor (Domestic Violence): 321-453-6900
  • Circles of Care (Mental Health): 321-722-5200
  • Brevard County Sheriff's Office (Non-Emergency): 321-633-7162

Need to Talk?

If you're experiencing a crisis related to your kink practice or relationships, please reach out to BKSC leadership. We can provide support, resources, and referrals to appropriate services. Your safety and wellbeing are our top priorities.

Contact BKSC Leadership

Local Community Resources

Brevard Kinkster's Community

BKSC is part of the broader Brevard Kinkster's community on FetLife. Connect with local kinksters, find events, and explore educational opportunities.

Join Brevard Kinkster's on FetLife →

Local Munches & Events

Check the Brevard Kinkster's FetLife group for current munch schedules and community events. Munches are casual social gatherings in public spaces where you can meet other community members in a low-pressure environment.

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